Hey friends,

It’s that time of year again.

The time when your social media feed fills up with perfect holiday card photos. Matching outfits. Coordinated colors. Everyone smiling at the camera in their perfectly pressed clothes.

And if that’s your thing? That’s awesome. Seriously.

But if you’re like a lot of my clients, you look at those photos and think, “That’s just not us.”

And you know what? That’s okay too.

Because holiday cards don’t have to look like everyone else’s. They should look like YOU.

And today I want to talk about what that actually means.

The Pressure to Be Perfect

Let me tell you about the number of times a mom has called me in a panic about holiday cards.

“We need to do them this year. Everyone else has these beautiful cards and ours are always so… chaotic.”

“I want us to look put-together for once.”

“Can you make us look like a normal family?”

And I always ask the same question: “But are you a perfectly coordinated, everyone-sitting-still kind of family?”

Usually the answer is no. Usually there’s laughter. “God, no. We’re a mess.”

“Then why would you want your holiday card to pretend you’re something you’re not?”

Because here’s the thing: the best holiday cards aren’t the perfect ones. They’re the authentic ones.

The ones that make people smile because they capture who you really are.

The Family Who Wore Jeans

A few years ago, I had a family book a holiday card session.

When they showed up, they were all wearing jeans and their favorite t-shirts. No matching outfits. No coordinated color scheme.

The mom looked a little embarrassed. “I know we’re supposed to dress up, but this is just… us. We’re not fancy people.”

And I loved it.

Because when I photographed them, they were relaxed. They were comfortable. They were themselves.

The dad made jokes. The kids actually laughed instead of forcing fake smiles. The whole family was just… real.

And the photos? They were some of my favorites that year.

Because you could see their personalities. Their dynamic. The way they actually were together.

That holiday card didn’t look like everyone else’s. It looked like them.

And that’s what made it perfect.

What “Feeling Like You” Actually Means

When I talk about holiday cards that feel like you, here’s what I mean:

If your family is silly and goofy, your photos should show that. Not everyone standing stiffly and smiling.

If you’re a jeans and t-shirt family, wear jeans and t-shirts. Don’t force yourselves into uncomfortable formal wear.

If your kids are wild and energetic, let them be wild and energetic. Don’t try to make them sit perfectly still.

If you’re a sports family, incorporate that. Wear your team jerseys. Bring your equipment.

If you’re a casual, laid-back family, your photos should be casual and laid-back.

The goal isn’t to look like someone else’s idea of perfect. The goal is to look like you.

The Card That Made Everyone Laugh

One of my favorite holiday card sessions ever was with a family who decided to embrace the chaos.

They had three young kids who were absolutely not going to sit still and smile nicely. It just wasn’t happening.

So instead of fighting it, we leaned into it.

We let the kids run around. We captured them mid-laugh, mid-jump, mid-everything. We got the parents looking at their kids with that mixture of love and “what have we gotten ourselves into” that every parent knows.

The final card they chose? All three kids were in motion. Nobody was looking at the camera. The parents were laughing.

And it was absolutely perfect.

Because that’s who they were. That’s what their life looked like.

And everyone who got that card told them it was the best holiday card they’d ever received. Because it was real. It was honest. It was them.

The Matching Outfit Trap

Look, if you love matching outfits, go for it. I’ve taken plenty of beautiful photos of families in coordinated looks.

But if you’re only doing matching outfits because you think you’re supposed to? Stop.

I’ve seen too many families show up in matching sweaters looking absolutely miserable. The clothes are uncomfortable. The kids are complaining. Nobody wants to be there.

And it shows in the photos.

You can see the tension. The forced smiles. The “let’s just get this over with” energy.

Compare that to families who show up in clothes they actually like wearing. Clothes that reflect their personalities.

The difference is night and day.

One looks like a photo shoot. The other looks like a family.

What to Wear Instead

So if not matching outfits, then what?

Here’s my advice: wear clothes that make you feel like yourself.

If that’s jeans and flannels, great.

If it’s your favorite dresses and button-ups, perfect.

If it’s your team jerseys or your favorite band t-shirts, awesome.

The only rule is this: wear something you’re comfortable in. Something that feels like you.

You can coordinate without matching. Pick a general color palette if you want some cohesion, but let everyone choose their own outfit within that palette.

Or don’t coordinate at all. Just let everyone wear what they love.

I promise you, the comfort and confidence you feel in clothes you actually like will show in the photos. And that’s worth way more than perfectly matching outfits.

The Location Matters Too

Holiday card photos don’t have to be in a studio with a fake backdrop.

In fact, some of my favorite holiday cards have been taken in places that mean something to the family.

Your favorite park. Your backyard. The baseball field where your kids play. Downtown in your small town. Your living room with the Christmas tree.

Pick a location that feels like you. That represents your life.

Because when you look at that card years from now, you won’t just remember what you looked like. You’ll remember where you were. What your life was like in that moment.

The Posed vs. Candid Debate

I always ask families: do you want posed photos or candid ones?

And a lot of times, they say, “I don’t know. What do you think?”

Here’s what I think: it depends on your family.

Some families are great at posing. They can stand together, smile at the camera, and look natural doing it.

But a lot of families? They’re better in motion. They’re better when they’re interacting with each other instead of looking at the camera.

So we do both. We get a few posed shots, just in case. But then we play. We walk. We talk. We let the kids do their thing.

And usually, the candid shots are the ones families end up loving most.

Because they’re real. They’re alive. They’re not just a picture of people standing together – they’re a picture of a family being a family.

The Single Parent Cards

I want to talk about something that doesn’t get mentioned enough: holiday cards for single parents.

I’ve had single moms tell me they feel like they can’t do holiday cards because it’s “supposed to be” a family thing. Like the card won’t be complete without two parents.

And that breaks my heart.

Because your family is complete. It’s whole. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.

Your holiday card should celebrate that. You and your kids. Your life together. Your love for each other.

Don’t skip the holiday card because your family doesn’t look like someone else’s idea of what a family should be.

Your family is beautiful exactly as it is. And it deserves to be celebrated.

The Couple Without Kids

Same goes for couples without kids.

You don’t need children to send out a holiday card. You don’t need a “traditional family” to celebrate the season.

Your holiday card can be just the two of you. You and your pets. You in your favorite place. You doing your favorite thing.

It’s your card. It should represent your life.

And your life is worth celebrating, kids or no kids.

The Grandparent Cards

And let’s not forget grandparents!

Some of my favorite holiday card sessions are with grandparents and their grandkids.

The love in those photos is just… it’s everything.

Grandparents, if you’re reading this: you don’t have to wait for your kids to organize a big family photo. You can do your own holiday cards with your grandkids.

Those photos will be treasured. I promise you.

The Pets Are Family Too

If your pets are part of your family, they should be in your holiday card.

I don’t care if it’s harder to coordinate. I don’t care if the dog won’t sit still or the cat looks annoyed.

If they’re family, they belong in the photo.

Some of my favorite holiday cards include pets. Because they’re part of the story. Part of the life you’re documenting.

And honestly? The chaos of trying to get everyone – including the pets – to cooperate often leads to the best, most authentic photos.

The “We’re Not Photogenic” Myth

I hear this all the time: “We’re just not a photogenic family.”

And every single time, I prove them wrong.

You know why? Because “photogenic” isn’t about having perfect features or perfect smiles.

It’s about being comfortable. Being yourself. Being with people you love.

When you’re relaxed and happy, you’re photogenic. Period.

So stop worrying about whether you’re photogenic enough for a holiday card. You are. I promise.

The Message Matters Too

The photos are important, but so is the message on your card.

It doesn’t have to be formal or fancy. It doesn’t have to rhyme or be clever.

It can be simple: “Merry Christmas from our family to yours.”

Or personal: “Wishing you joy, laughter, and all the chaos that makes life beautiful.”

Or funny: “We tried to get everyone to smile at the same time. This was as close as we got.”

Make it sound like you. Because that’s what people want to hear – your voice, not some generic greeting.

The Digital vs. Print Question

Some people ask if they should do digital cards or printed ones.

My answer? Whatever works for you.

If you love the tradition of printed cards and mailing them out, do that.

If digital is easier and more your style, do that.

There’s no right or wrong answer. The important thing is sharing your family with the people you love, however that looks for you.

When to Schedule Your Session

Here’s a practical tip: don’t wait until mid-December to schedule your holiday card photos.

By then, everyone’s stressed and busy and exhausted. The weather might not cooperate. You’re rushing to get cards ordered and mailed.

Usually I advise to schedule your session in October or early November. The weather is usually still nice. The fall colors are beautiful. You have plenty of time to get cards ordered. However, it’s not to late if your life has been crazy and hectic and early December is the first change you get.

Just try to get them done as early as possible.

The Cards You’ll Treasure

Years from now, when you look back at your holiday cards, here’s what you’ll remember:

Not whether everyone’s outfit matched perfectly.

Not whether everyone was looking at the camera.

Not whether the photo looked like everyone else’s.

You’ll remember what your life was like in that moment. How old your kids were. What your family dynamic was. How you felt.

And the cards that will mean the most are the ones that honestly captured that moment.

The ones that feel like you.

My Favorite Part

You want to know my favorite part of holiday card sessions?

It’s when families stop trying to be perfect and just start being themselves.

That’s when the magic happens. That’s when I get the shots that make them cry when they see them later.

Because they’re not just pretty pictures. They’re honest reflections of who they are.

And that’s what holiday cards should be. Not a performance. Not a show for other people.

Just you. Your family. Your life. Your love.

Captured in a moment and shared with the people who care about you.

What I Want You to Remember

If you take nothing else from this post, remember this:

Your holiday card doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

It doesn’t have to be perfect or polished or Pinterest-worthy.

It just has to be you.

Wear what makes you comfortable. Go where you feel at home. Let your kids be kids. Let your family be your family.

Because the people who receive your card don’t want to see some idealized version of you. They want to see YOU.

The real you. The authentic you. The you that they know and love.

So give them that. Give them a holiday card that actually feels like you.

And I promise, it will be the most beautiful card they receive all year.

What does your family’s holiday card style look like? I’d love to help you create one that feels authentically you.

Until next time, Alisha – The Camera Lady 📸

Here’s to holiday cards that celebrate who we really are, not who we think we’re supposed to be.