Real Talk: It’s Not About Perfect – It’s About Joy

Hey friends,

Every year around this time, I start getting calls from parents who are already stressed about holiday photos. They want everything to be perfect – the outfits coordinated just right, the location picture-perfect, everyone smiling at exactly the same time. And I get it, I really do. We want to capture the magic of the holidays for our families.

But here’s what I’ve learned after years of holiday sessions: what people really want isn’t perfection. What they want is to remember the joy.

Think about your favorite holiday memories from when you were a kid. I bet they’re not the moments when everything went according to plan. They’re probably the moments when something went wonderfully wrong – when the cookies burned but you all laughed about it anyway, when the Christmas tree fell over but dad made it into a game, when there was too much snow for your planned activity but you built snowmen instead.

Those are the moments that stick with us. Those are the feelings we want to recreate for our own families.

But somewhere along the way, we’ve convinced ourselves that if it’s not Instagram-perfect, it’s not worth capturing. Parents stress themselves out trying to make everything flawless for their children, spouses go overboard trying to create magical moments for each other, and in all that effort to make it perfect, we sometimes lose the actual joy we were trying to preserve in the first place.

Here’s something fascinating that I learned: our brains are scientifically wired to focus on positive memories over time. It’s called the “reminiscence bump” – we naturally remember the good stuff more vividly than the stressful parts. Photos help accelerate this process.

Let me give you an example. Maybe making nine dozen cookies for the family gathering was absolutely exhausting. Maybe you were covered in flour, running behind schedule, and questioning why you volunteered to bring dessert for thirty people. But in the middle of all that chaos, your toddler climbed up on a chair and started “helping” by throwing flour everywhere, giggling like it was the best game ever.

In the moment, you might have felt overwhelmed and frustrated. But that photo of your little one covered head to toe in flour, pure joy on their face? That’s what you’ll remember twenty years from now. That’s what will make you smile and miss those days when they’re grown and moved out. The stress fades, but the sweetness remains.

That’s the magic of holiday photos – even the posed ones. They freeze moments of connection, love, and happiness. They remind us of how it felt to be together, to celebrate, to be grateful for each other.

I’ve photographed families where absolutely nothing went according to plan. The kids were cranky, someone forgot their shoes, it started raining during our outdoor session. But we rolled with it. We found covered areas, we let the kids be kids, we captured real smiles instead of forced ones. And you know what? Those sessions often produce my clients’ favorite photos.

Because real joy doesn’t need perfect conditions. It just needs to be noticed and celebrated.

So here’s my challenge for you this holiday season: instead of stressing about making everything perfect, focus on being present for the imperfect, beautiful moments that are happening right in front of you. Let your kids be silly. Let yourself laugh when things don’t go as planned. Embrace the chaos, the mess, the unexpected detours.

And when you’re looking at hiring a photographer for your holiday session, don’t choose someone who promises you perfection. Choose someone who promises to capture your family’s authentic joy – flour-covered faces and all.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what people really want from holiday photos. Not a magazine-worthy image that looks like someone else’s life. They want a window back to how it felt to be your family, in this season, loving each other through all the beautiful imperfection.

That’s the kind of magic worth preserving.

Talk soon, Alisha

P.S. If you’re thinking about booking holiday photos but feeling overwhelmed about the “perfect” outfits or location, let’s chat. I promise we’ll focus on capturing your family’s joy, not your stress. Because the best holiday photos aren’t about what you’re wearing – they’re about who you’re with.