Can we have a heart-to-heart about something that’s been bothering me? I’m so tired of hearing clients apologize for being human.

“Sorry my hair is a mess.” “Sorry my kids are being crazy.” “Sorry I don’t know how to pose.” “Sorry we’re running late.” “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

Stop. Just stop.

Let me tell you something that might blow your mind: the photos you’re going to treasure most aren’t the ones where everything went perfectly. They’re the ones where life happened, where real emotions showed up, where your actual personality came through instead of some posed version of who you think you should be.

I learned this lesson the hard way during a senior session that should have been a complete disaster. We were shooting at this old hobby shed in the fall – you know the kind, all weathered wood and character. The plan was to get some shots inside the shed and then move outside for golden hour portraits by the water.

But Mother Nature had other plans. The sun was setting way faster than I’d anticipated, and when we got inside the shed, I realized there was no lighting. I’m talking pitch only whatever natural light was filtering through the old windows. To make matters worse, part of our shoot involved some shots by the water, and it was late October in Indiana – that water was absolutely freezing.

I was panicking. This wasn’t how senior sessions were supposed to go, right? Where was the perfect golden hour lighting I’d planned for? I kept thinking about all those flawless senior photos I’d seen online, and here I was dealing with terrible lighting conditions and freezing temperatures.

But you know what happened? My senior, this tough guy, was a total trooper. Instead of complaining about the cold or the dark shed and me not having any off camera flash, he embraced the challenge. We attempted to work with the dramatic shadows and moody lighting inside the hobby shed, attempting to creating some artistic shots that had this beautiful, mysterious quality, but it didn’t go as planned. When we moved to the water shots, he didn’t hesitate for a second, even though I could have swore I saw him shivering. He pushed through like an absolute champion, never once complaining about the freezing conditions.

The photos that came out of that “disaster” session? They were some of my favorite photos I’ve taken of a male senior. The low light created this gorgeous, dramatic mood that perfectly captured his strength and determination. The shots by the freezing water showed his genuine grit and adventurous spirit. His expressions weren’t forced or posed – they were real reactions to real challenges, and that authenticity shone through in every image.

That’s when I realized something that completely changed how I approach every single session: perfect doesn’t exist, and even if it did, it would be boring as hell.

Think about your favorite family photos from when you were growing up. I bet they’re not the formal portraits where everyone’s sitting up straight with matching outfits and forced smiles. I bet they’re the candid shots where someone’s making a funny face, or the Christmas morning chaos with wrapping paper everywhere, or the vacation photo where everyone’s sunburned and sandy but laughing their heads off.

Those photos are precious because they’re real. They capture who you actually were, not who you thought you should be. They show your family’s personality, your inside jokes, your genuine relationships.

But somewhere along the way, we got convinced that photos need to be perfect to be valuable. Social media didn’t help – suddenly everyone’s comparing their real life to other people’s highlight reels. We started thinking that if a photo doesn’t look like it belongs in a magazine, it’s not worth keeping.

That’s complete garbage, and I’m here to tell you why.

Last December, I had a Christmas photo session that started with a moody three year old starting off the shoot by “being impossible.” This little guy had his own agenda, and it definitely didn’t include sitting still for Christmas photos. He kept trying to play with the fake snow we’d sprayed on the window as a prop. Every time we tried to get him to sit by the Christmas tree, he’d run off to explore something else in the room.

So I stopped trying to force the traditional Christmas card pose. Instead, I started following his lead. I captured him discovering the texture of the fake snow, his face full of wonder and curiosity. I photographed the quiet moment when he finally got distracted by a Christmas ornament and stood perfectly still for exactly three seconds – just long enough to get the most genuine, beautiful shot of his little face lit up with Christmas magic.

I was also worried about getting the perfect shot for society expectation, so much so I almost missed seeing how beautiful this little guys curiosity was during the holidays.

That’s what I mean when I say perfect photos don’t exist. What exists are real moments, authentic emotions, genuine connections. And those are infinitely more valuable than any posed perfection could ever be.

Here’s what I want you to know: your messy hair tells a story about the busy, full life you’re living. Your kids’ silly faces show their unique personalities. Your laugh lines prove you’ve spent years finding joy in life. Your imperfect family dynamics – the way your teenager rolls their eyes, the way your husband always puts his arm around you the same way, the way your toddler insists on wearing that superhero costume everywhere – those are what make you uniquely you.

When you come to a session with me, I don’t want you to perform. I don’t want you to pretend to be someone you’re not. I want you to be yourselves – messy, imperfect, beautifully human selves.

Because here’s the secret that the photography industry doesn’t want you to know: the photos that look effortless and natural? They happen when people stop trying to be perfect and start being real. When you’re not worried about whether your smile looks right, your genuine smile comes out. When you’re not posing, your natural body language shows your relationships. When you’re not trying to control every detail, the magic happens.

I remember a senior session where the girl was convinced she wasn’t photogenic. She kept apologizing for her “weird” smile and asking if we could Photoshop this or that. Halfway through the session, I asked her about her plans after graduation. Her whole face lit up as she talked about her dreams of becoming a veterinarian. She forgot about the camera completely, and that’s when I got the most beautiful, authentic shots of the entire session. Her genuine excitement and passion shone through in every image.

That’s the difference between perfect and real. Perfect is stiff, controlled, and forgettable. Real is dynamic, emotional, and unforgettable.

So the next time you’re getting ready for photos, don’t apologize for being human. Don’t stress about every detail being perfect. Instead, focus on being present, being connected, being yourself. Trust me to handle the technical stuff – the lighting, the composition, the camera settings. Your job is just to show up as you are.

Wear the outfit that makes you feel confident, even if it’s not the “perfect” color. Let your kids be kids, even if they’re being silly. Laugh at your husband’s dad jokes, even if they’re terrible. Show your real emotions, even if they’re not always pretty.

Because here’s the truth: twenty years from now, you won’t remember whether your hair was perfect or your outfit was exactly right. But you’ll treasure the photos that captured who you really were in that moment – imperfect, authentic, and absolutely beautiful.

The most perfect photos are the ones that show your imperfect, real, wonderfully human life. And that’s exactly what I’m here to capture for you.

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Ready to embrace your beautiful imperfection? Let’s create some real, authentic memories together. Contact me at (765) 312-2115 or lilleyphotos@gmail.com to schedule your session. Because perfect is overrated, but real is priceless.